Dr. Bigelow: What can I do for you?
Louie: Uh, well, I hurt my back today really bad. Uh. Can you help me with my back? I mean...
Dr. Bigelow: What's wrong with your back?
Louie: It hurts.
Dr. Bigelow: My professional diagnosis is your back hurts.
Louie: Well, what can I do about it?
Dr. Bigelow: Nothing.
Louie: Nothing?
Dr. Bigelow: The problem is you're using it wrong. The back isn't done evolving yet. You see, the spine is a row of vertebrae. It was designed to be horizontal. Then people came along and used it vertical. Wasn't meant for that. So the disks get all floppy, swollen. Pop out left, pop out right. It'll take another. I'd say 20,000 years to get straightened out. Till then, it's going to keep hurting.
Louie: So that's it?
Dr. Bigelow: It's an engineering design problem. It's a misallocation. We were given a clothesline and we're using it as a flagpole.
Louie: So what should I do?
Dr. Bigelow: Use your back as it was intended. Walk around on your hands and feet. Or accept the fact that your back is going to hurt sometimes. Be very grateful for the moments that it doesn't. Every second spent without back pain is a lucky second. String enough of those lucky seconds together, you have a lucky minute.
Louie: Okay.
Dr. Bigelow: Come see me when you have something fun like a blood disease. That's what I went to school for.
HA! Thanks Miss Rebecca Ketchum for finding this!
Louie: Uh, well, I hurt my back today really bad. Uh. Can you help me with my back? I mean...
Dr. Bigelow: What's wrong with your back?
Louie: It hurts.
Dr. Bigelow: My professional diagnosis is your back hurts.
Louie: Well, what can I do about it?
Dr. Bigelow: Nothing.
Louie: Nothing?
Dr. Bigelow: The problem is you're using it wrong. The back isn't done evolving yet. You see, the spine is a row of vertebrae. It was designed to be horizontal. Then people came along and used it vertical. Wasn't meant for that. So the disks get all floppy, swollen. Pop out left, pop out right. It'll take another. I'd say 20,000 years to get straightened out. Till then, it's going to keep hurting.
Louie: So that's it?
Dr. Bigelow: It's an engineering design problem. It's a misallocation. We were given a clothesline and we're using it as a flagpole.
Louie: So what should I do?
Dr. Bigelow: Use your back as it was intended. Walk around on your hands and feet. Or accept the fact that your back is going to hurt sometimes. Be very grateful for the moments that it doesn't. Every second spent without back pain is a lucky second. String enough of those lucky seconds together, you have a lucky minute.
Louie: Okay.
Dr. Bigelow: Come see me when you have something fun like a blood disease. That's what I went to school for.
HA! Thanks Miss Rebecca Ketchum for finding this!
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